I’ve been a regular social media user since approximately 2006, the good ol’ days of MySpace. I appreciate many aspects of what various social media platforms do. I love being able to stay in touch with distant relatives and friends through Facebook. I love news, sports, theology, and humor posts on Twitter.
I love seeing cute pictures of kids on Instagram. I even like embarrassing my kids on Tik Tok once in a while.
As a pastor, a significant portion of my life involves connecting with people. So when shelter-at-home hit in late March, I relied upon social media more than ever for church, friendship, and connection. Church services. Information about Covid-19. State regulations. Virtual-double-date nights. Friends and family photos.
In short, I spent more time on social media in March-May than at any other time in my life.
Once life started to move in the direction of “normal” in June, I decided to take a break of a few weeks. Very quickly, I noticed a change in my attitude and mental state. I was less distracted around my wife and kids.
I was less exhausted by the constant stream of negative notifications. I actually slept better at night.
Addicted to social media
In early 2020, Hootsuite partnered with the website We Are Social to produce a comprehensive report of social media usage around the world.
Bottom line, more than 3.8 billion people use social media, over half of the world’s population.
Worldwide, the average person spends close to 7 hours per day on the internet, with 50% of that time being spent on social media and communication apps. It is interesting to note that this report was produced in January of 2020, before widespread lockdowns due to Covid-19. Reports are beginning to come out that our social media usage has increased exponentially over the course of the year.
Combine this recent information with a 2018 Harvard study that found that when people are scrolling social media platforms, it lights up the same part of the brain that is ignited when taking drugs. It is not an exaggeration to say that social media platforms are intentionally designed to hook you in and keep you coming back for more.
A longer break
Beginning October 1, I will be taking a six-month break from social media. Maybe longer. Maybe forever. I am sharing this not because I want to appear sanctimonious, but because I want to invite the people of Sound City to pray about joining with me. Nobody is forcing anybody to do anything, but I do want you to seriously consider the various reasons listed below. In the following top ten list, I do not expect everyone to resonate with all my reasons. However, I would guess that most of you who use social media can resonate with a few, if not most.
Problem #1: diminished mental and emotional health
Multiple scientific studies are showing that social media usage is linked to various mental health issues, particularly depression and anxiety. There are a variety of reasons why, some of which are listed below.
The question is this: does using social media help my mental and emotional well-being, or does it cause mental and emotional harm?
For further reading: No More FOMO: Limiting Social Media Decreases Loneliness and Depression, study from the Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology.
Problem #2: compassion fatigue
For with much wisdom is much sorrow; as knowledge increases, grief increases. — Ecclesiastes 1:18
Recently, I read a lengthy post on Facebook from somebody I went to 9th grade with. They described a long, drawn-out custody battle they were in. I have not seen this person in more than twenty years, and we have no semblance of a meaningful relationship. Now, this person is important to God, and the situation is tragic. But I only have so much emotional energy to give, and the simple act of reading this post used up some of my empathy and compassion.
There are so many problems in the word: war, cancer, injustice, natural disaster, racism…the list goes on and on. Every single one of these problems is important in the eyes of God. And as a Christian, I am called to have compassion that overflows from the compassion that Christ has shown me (2 Corinthians 1:5). But the human mind can only process so much tragedy and hardship. Only God is omniscient. Only God can handle all of the sorrows of the world. But social media exposes me to hardship at a scale (and a rate) that I simply can’t endure. There is enough hardship and suffering in the lives of people I personally know to keep me busy praying and caring for a long time.
Both Scripture and science confirm: as a finite human being, I simply do not have the capacity to empathize with all of the tragedy that I could be exposed to.
For further reading: Are You Suffering From Compassion Fatigue? article from Psychology Today.
Problem #3: envy and comparison
Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another. — Galatians 5:26
Social media is a never-ending parade of people and things to compare myself and my life to. Social media has been accused of being a highlight reel where people only share the good moments, the enviable moments. This just makes sense. From vacations to date nights to home remodels to fitness selfies, most people post what they want you to see: their best foot forward. They will save their hurts and struggles for the safety of their close, personal relationships, and well they should. But when you compare their social media feed to your real life, even subconsciously, it can be easy to feel discontent and disappointed.
Ask yourself: does social media help me be more thankful and content, or does it fan the flames of envy and jealousy that live in my heart?
Problem #4: decrease in real relationship
Better is a neighbor who is near than a brother who is far away. — Proverbs 27:10
Social media provides something that is akin to relationship, but it’s not quite the real thing. As human beings, we are embodied souls, and physical interaction is part of what it means to be human. We should not be so quick to trade in real, flesh-and-blood relationships for digital ones, especially when things like mirror neurons demonstrate that our bodies are literally hardwired for response to human interaction.
Yes, social media can provide some relational benefits. But even the word “media” should alert us to the fact that these relationships are “mediated,” run through a filter that does not give us the fullness of relationship that God designed us for.
For further reading: Hikikomori: Why are so many Japanese men refusing to leave their rooms? article from BBC News about a concerning trend in Japan. An extreme example, yes, but illustrative of the problem in our modern world with embodied relationships.
Problem #5: exposure to sexual content
Flee from sexual immorality. — 1 Corinthians 6:18
Porn is ubiquitous, it is influential, and it is deadly. Social media goes hand-in-glove with the proliferation of sexually explicit material. When you combine the dopamine hits of sexual excitement with the aforementioned dopamine hits from social media itself, you have a recipe for disaster.
And this is not just “every man’s battle” anymore. Sadly, research is finding that ever-increasing numbers of women are also admitting to finding themselves addicted to pornography. Someone in my Twitter feed recently shared a clip of an interview from a well-known female comedian on a well-known podcast talking about how she is literally incapable of enjoying sex without using porn. (I do not recommend the clip or the full interview, due to its graphic sexual conversation but it is illustrative of the problem now facing many women, not just men.)
Ask yourself: does social media usage help me or fight against me in my quest to walk in sexual purity and be devoted to my spouse?
For further reading: Research confirms sharp rise in youthful sexual dysfunctions article from Your Brain on Porn.
Problem #6: decrease in knowledge
Whoever restrains his words has knowledge, and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding. Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent. — Proverbs 17:27-28
Similar to the way social media gives the illusion of relationship without the depth of relationship, social media also gives the illusion of knowledge without actual, substantive knowledge. Ironically, one of the tools intended to help us share information and knowledge has literally rewired our brains to make us less able to retain information. Our attention spans now only last for 280 characters or less. The algorithms designed to keep us in our happy little echo chamber, stifle our curiosity by filling our news feeds with things that mirror the way we already think, based on our “likes” and interests.
Reading a meme or watching a Buzzfeed video does not make you an expert. True knowledge and wisdom take time, something that social media does not help with.
For further reading: You Now Have a Shorter Attention Span Than a Goldfish article from Time Magazine.
Problem #7: increase in narcissism
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility consider others as more important than yourselves. — Philippians 2:3
As I am writing this today, I went on Instagram and ran a search for the hashtag #selfie. Any guesses on how many results this search yielded? You got it! 431 million. Ok, maybe you didn’t guess that. It sure seems like a lot to me.
Social media is designed to give the “average” person a platform, a way to express themselves. And while there are certainly good elements of this trend, it is virtually impossible to deny that for many, social media becomes all about self-obsession. Look at clothes, look at my meal, look at my house, my boyfriend, my workout, my sunset. Social media has helped turn grown adults back into toddlers demanding to be looked at, when all the while we have the perfect, undivided attention of our Father in Heaven.
Listen: Selfie Culture Is New, But Self-Obsession Is Not WBUR interview with Will Storr, author of the recent book "Selfie: How We Became So Self-Obsessed And What It's Doing To Us.
Problem #8: lack of civility
If possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. — Romans 12:18
Social media is designed to keep you coming back over and over again. One of the ways this is accomplished is by building algorithms to show you more and more of what you like, think, and agree with. The result is that your social media feed becomes an “echo chamber,” where you are only exposed to…well, you.
When you add in the element of mediation or even anonymity, it becomes easy to say things that you would never say in a face-to-face conversation, or to say things in a tone that you would not use in real life.
Does social media help me listen and learn from people, even those I disagree with? Does it help me fall into the trap of political polarization? Or does it help me engage with civility, keeping peace with anyone that I can.
For more reading: Inside the social media echo chamber article from the Brookings Institute.
Problem #9: wasted time
For we hear that there are some among you who are idle. They are not busy but busybodies. — 2 Thessalonians 3:11
I won’t belabor this point, because you know it’s true: social media wastes a lot of time. Like, a lot. Time that you could spend on more profitable things.
For further reading: COVID-19: Screen time spikes to over 13 hours per day according to Eyesafe Nielsen estimates.
Problem #10: competition with discipleship and Christian formation
This book of instruction must not depart from your mouth; you are to meditate on it day and night so that you may carefully observe everything written in it. For then you will prosper and succeed in whatever you do. — Joshua 1:8 (emphasis added)
Of all the depressing things about 2020, perhaps the thing that has bummed me out the most is a spate of recent surveys that showed some…concerning trends regarding Americans beliefs around the Christian faith.
More Americans (48%) agree with the statement “salvation can be earned” than agree with (35%) the belief that salvation only comes through faith in Jesus (AWVI survey, with George Barna).
Since COVID shutdowns, roughly one third (32%) of people who say that their faith is very important to them have not participated at all in a worship gathering, either digitally or in-person (Barna Research Group).
Nearly two thirds (65%) of American self-professed evangelical Christians agree with the statement “Jesus is the first and greatest being created by God.” Just for the record, that’s Arianism, Patrick! Not orthodox Christianity (Ligonier Ministries State of Theology Survey).
Let’s do some math for the “average” member of Sound City. Worship gathering on a Sunday: 80 minutes. Community group on a Tuesday evening: 90 minutes. 20 minutes of daily bible reading & prayer five times a week: 100 minutes. Something extra like reading a Christian book or listening to a Christian podcast: conservative estimate of 60 minutes.
That means, in a given week, the “average” member of our church engages in 5.5 hours of spiritual formation. (I fear that for many of our people, the actual number is significantly lower.) However, if a recent article from Tech Jury is remotely accurate, the average person spends closer to seventeen hours per week on social media. Like it or not, this has a formative effect on you.
As a follower of Jesus, does your social media help you to prioritize the things of the faith, or does it draw you away into “myths and endless genealogies [and] speculations” (1 Timothy 1:4)? (Note: conspiracy theories are nothing new.) Do you, like the person in Psalm 1, meditate on God’s Word day and night, or is that time spent reading up on the latest celebrity gossip? What is forming your mind, your affections, and your habits?
For further reading: Are churches losing the battle to form Christians? article from TGC.
Answering a few questions or objections
This post is long, but like I said at the beginning, I’m trying to convince you to join me in taking a break from social media. Let me say a few things in conclusion, by way of answering a few potential questions or objections.
Objection: I don’t really use social media all that much. Should I still delete it?
I remember talking with one of our elders, Jamin, a few months ago. He had logged into Facebook for the first time in two years to find somebody’s contact info. His comment to me was, “is it always this bad?” Yes, my friend. Yes it is.
Fair enough question. Maybe you don’t need a full break from social media. Maybe you use it rarely, if ever. I would simply ask you to apply the same question “does this help me or harm me” to other areas of media consumption. Do you watch a lot of movies and TV? Do you always have cable news or talk radio on? How many times have you skipped church to watch a football game? How do these same questions apply to other areas of your technological life?
Question: what about the genuine connections that I have through social media?
Again, there are good things about social media, connection with a wider network of people being one of them. I would simply say that the world existed before you posted pictures of your kids on social media, and the world will go on even if Facebook goes away.
Instead of using social media, I would encourage you to prioritize other means of connection. Start a family text thread. Call your grandma. Sit in the yard with a friend. For crying out loud, write a letter (is that still a thing?). Social media has made the idea of connection easier, but as I suggested above, it falls short of true relationship.
(Note: we are looking into a communication tool that would enable the people of the church to easily share prayer requests, marketplace items, and other information without all the extra noise of social media. We will let you know if and when this tool is ready to roll out to the whole congregation.)
Objection: what about news and information? It’s not good to be disconnected from what is going on in our society.
I agree. But again, there are dozens of ways to stay informed about what is going on in the world. Make no mistake, society will find you, even if you don’t have social media.
For the past few years, I have primarily used Twitter as my source of news and information. In preparation for taking a break from that platform, I have gone back in time to the days of email subscriptions. For national news, I follow some organizations that are more right-leaning and some that are more left-leaning, which helps me have a broader perspective on the various topics. But remember, the national news doesn’t fully reflect what affects your life, which is why I also subscribe to a few local news outlets. I also subscribe to some sports outlets and religion news outlets.
Many of these organizations do a terrific job of putting together a daily or weekly email newsletter that helps me get a broad overview of the topics, without the immediate rancor and comment-wars on social media. Plus it’s email, so I’m less likely to doomscroll. If a topic interests me, I can click on the article and read more. If it doesn’t, I can move on with my life.
All of this to say, there are ways to stay informed and connected without using social media. Besides, cutting out social media will help me as I line up my life with my values. I want my mind to be filled with the things of Christ. I want my time to be available to serve others. And I want my heart to be full of love for my family, for the people of Sound City, and the people in my community.
Church family, will you join me?